Erotic, Erotic. Put Your Hands All Over My Dresser

There are so many times when I see furniture and home decor items that move me. And when they are sleek, stylish and really make an artistic statement by their mere presence, the first word that springs to mind for me is "sexy". Like a Tom Ford perfume ad, or the shape of a Gaultier corset. No matter what the context is, it's just plain sexy.

I have just discovered this line of furniture by Peter Rolfe (yeah, those Germans are pigs!) that takes "sexy" to a whole new level. When I first saw the photos, I thought instantly of that episode of Nip/Tuck where one of the doctors is caught having sex with his couch.

I am sure someone will have that same idea with this line. These carved and layered wooden pieces represent male and female ideal body forms and are made incredibly well. As a designer, I don't know who in the hell I would suggest these pieces for, but you can be damn sure I will at some point!

I only have a couple of issues with these pieces. First, the nipples on the female dressers should actually be functional. I would love nothing more than to pull on a nip and have my underwear drawer at my disposal. "Hey honey....can you get me some socks? They are in the left tit!" Secondly, the male pieces are NOT correct, and that truly bothers me. I'd like to have a place to hang my fine gold chains, maybe a hat stand, a ring holder, etc. Likewise, the female, if done correctly, could provide a secret storage space for fine jewels, etc.

Anatomically correct or not, they are incredibly beautiful. I'm just saying a dick wouldn't hurt.

PS: is it me, or did Rolfe model the lady parts on Madonna, circa 1979? I'd recognize those appendages anywhere.