Hello Rural Modernistas.  I know it's been some time since I offered my two cents on design and home decor.  If you hadn't heard, I picked up and moved far, far away - to San Francisco.  You know the place....gays, hippies, gays, fashion backwards people, gays, Golden Gate Bridge, gays, etc.

I thought I would check in and drop a few tips and treats to hold you over, as well as a few things I am obsessed with.

As the holidays loom on the horizon, I thought it would be a great time to plant the design seeds for the upcoming season.  Let's start with Thanksgiving.  I think the ultimate tablescape for this holiday is the well-curated but totally mismatched place settings.  Picture a crisp linen tablecloth with different, but similar place settings, splashes of color in various settings, and different shapes and sizes used in the same amounts across the table.  Here's how: 

• First, start with a solid color tablecloth, and gather solid (tone on tone is fine) color dinner plates.  These do not necessarily need to match in style, but they should match in color and size.  I prefer an all-white dinner plate as a base.  
• On top of those, place your favorite collected salad plates (from eBay, from yard sales or from my favorite, Fishs Eddy (great place to start your collection).  They don't have to match anything but the tablecloth or dinner plate color, and should not match each other.  The commonality is the size.  
• Do this again with a smaller bread plate.  Take inspiration from your collections and your taste; if you are into 50s retro, add some jadeite or maybe a few pieces of of Fiestaware.  If you're more of a modernist, go for some graphic pieces or geometric shapes.  The idea is to personalize it, yet vary it a bit.  
• From the plates, you now have a color palette defined, and use that to choose napkins.  As most napkins are the same size, you only need to choose colors and prints.  This is a great place for a brighter color pulled from one of the plates or even a stripe that corresponds.  Cohesively, the napkins should tell the color story, and you will know how many different ones to use.  The idea is to look simple, not overly chaotic.  
• Top the setting off with glassware (flatware should be matching) - one water glass and one wine glass.  If your palette can handle colored glass, sprinkle a few around the table.  Ideally, you will make one of the glasses cohesive throughout, and the other can be variations of the same.  Perhaps go for the French look of simple tumblers for wine and vary your water glasses.  

I love this look... it screams "Thanksgiving" to me.

Before your turkey carcass has cooled, it's time to look forward to Christmas,  As you may have sensed by now, I respect tradition, but don't necessarily adhere to it.  To that end, there will likely be no bright red and emerald green and gold flocked Christmas tree.  And retail seems to agree!  I think the color palette that is of-the-moment for this season is going to be purple, teal, kiwi and fuchsia.

I am obsessed with this book at the moment.  The Joy Of Home by Naomi Cleaver.  If you own one home design book, make it this one.  Step by step, room by room, it guides you through learning how to design a space according to your own taste.  From making a working budget to sketching the room, you will have all the tools you need.  Check it out here,

As the weather cools, what is more thrilling than hiberating on a sofa wrapped in a cozy and warm throw?  For me, it is ALLLLL about MIssoni throws right now.  MIssoni's prints are often loud and invasive but there is so much more to this chic Italian house.  Their throws run the gamut from simple to overdone, and I love the range.  They are a great kick for most modern decor, and look as good folded up on the ottoman as they do wrapped around you.  Check out the range and get to cuddling!

I have also recently worked with a few great brands and stores that I think I should share with you:

• For nursery and children's rooms, I love Duc Duc.  Bold, modern and graphic.
• Try Spoonflower if you think you have what it takes to design your own fabric.  Get crafty and they will print it up for you! 
• My very favorite fabric line, Of The Young And The Restless, cannot be recommended enough.  Check out the bold prints and colors.  You DO have a room that needs this.

Lastly, and not really design related, I need to leave you all with a few gifts.  While I have been taking time to immerse myself in my new city and my new pursuits, I still want to reach out to my old kinfolk as often as possible and keep in touch.  One thing that my friends know I love is music.  I love to discover it and share it whenever I can.  So, I have been making downloadable playlists that I send around to my little network every few weeks, and I thought it was time to share some of my recent favorites with you all.  Each playlist contains new music discoveries, rare gems you forgot about. one hit wonders from years past, and a few WTF was that??? moments.  A true eclectic collection that is very me.  I think you may find yourselves in some of these as well.  Here are a few, in order from most recent backwards.  I name them all after me, and hey even have artwork!!!

Eat@Joe's

Joe Fuck Yourself

JoedelAyHeeHoo!

Joe Ne Sais Quoi

Joe Your Own Way

Let Go And Let Joe

Joe Armenia from Campagna Home weighs in on his latest design obsessions, tips, and finds on a semi-regular basis for The Rural Modernist. I couldn't be happier since it means less work for me.

There are so many times when I see furniture and home decor items that move me. And when they are sleek, stylish and really make an artistic statement by their mere presence, the first word that springs to mind for me is "sexy". Like a Tom Ford perfume ad, or the shape of a Gaultier corset. No matter what the context is, it's just plain sexy.

I have just discovered this line of furniture by Peter Rolfe (yeah, those Germans are pigs!) that takes "sexy" to a whole new level. When I first saw the photos, I thought instantly of that episode of Nip/Tuck where one of the doctors is caught having sex with his couch.

I am sure someone will have that same idea with this line. These carved and layered wooden pieces represent male and female ideal body forms and are made incredibly well. As a designer, I don't know who in the hell I would suggest these pieces for, but you can be damn sure I will at some point!

I only have a couple of issues with these pieces. First, the nipples on the female dressers should actually be functional. I would love nothing more than to pull on a nip and have my underwear drawer at my disposal. "Hey honey....can you get me some socks? They are in the left tit!" Secondly, the male pieces are NOT correct, and that truly bothers me. I'd like to have a place to hang my fine gold chains, maybe a hat stand, a ring holder, etc. Likewise, the female, if done correctly, could provide a secret storage space for fine jewels, etc.

Anatomically correct or not, they are incredibly beautiful. I'm just saying a dick wouldn't hurt.

PS: is it me, or did Rolfe model the lady parts on Madonna, circa 1979? I'd recognize those appendages anywhere.

I thought of this assignment as the adult design-addict's equivalent to searching through those phone-book thick catalogs when we were kids tin order to make our "wish list". You start by making an overwhelming list of things you would just love to have but would never buy for yourself. And, as it was when I was a kid, the list was long, greedy and exhausting.

But all of these things are not just "wants" - they are "needs". I need these to live the aesthetically pleasing life I was born to have. As a design professional, I certainly can't inspire people to make their own homes and environments beautiful and better if I can't have a space that inspires me! It's a justifiable business expense, I suppose.

After much deliberation, I have narrowed the list to these. Here are the 10 items that I simply MUST have from the world of modern home decor. No wrapping necessary.

1. The Zeta Fireplace. This is a gorgeous functional piece of art; a delicious marriage of leather, glass, bent plywood and stainless steel. This is an eco-friendly standalone, ventless fireplace that looks like it could be from the Jetsons' house, but truly would look better in mine. It comes in several colors of leather upholstery (I'd like the white, please!). Get yours (and mine) at Ecosmartfire, for around $10,000.

2. Boats. This collection of 33 "boats" is really a multi-piece sculpture made from reclaimed and recycled wooden bowls that have been shaped into a fleet fit for your walls. Vertical, horizontal - whatever! Available at Mixture Home; $2,000 for the set.

3. Luxury in Lavender. My favorite wallpaper designers - Flavor Paper - have outdone themselves with this modern take on 70s foil papers. It's called luxury for a reason - there are graphic depictions of diamonds, private planes, glamorous cars, etc, all wrapped in a creamy melange of purply ribbons with a hint of gold. This paper begs to be on a large wall in an otherwise stark white room, and appreciated up close. Available in other colors, but since it;s what I want, i want this color! $150-$350 per roll, here.

4. Loyal Loot's Log Bowls. Oh dear G*d, I want every size and every color! These bowls, in various sizes and shapes, are made from actual logs that have been filled with glossy, gorgeous color. Texture, color and function? I'm wet! Prices run from $90 to $238 at Storefront and Studio.

5. Smarties Rug. J'adore this rug! A white rug covered in fluffy dots of color - just like that tasteless candy that came on receipt paper!!! It's colorful, yet it's neutral. It goes with everything. It's sooo soft and delicious, it's high quality and it's simply a must have for any floor in almost any room. From $550 to $3850 based on size, at Floor Section.

6. Bourgie Lamp. For full disclosure, I already have this lamp, in crystal clear. However, since it is one of my favorite possessions, I MUST have the newest color in this stunning lamp line from Kartell. This is an opaque white with a glossy gold interior on the lampshade! Glam!!! How fan-fucking-tastic would that be with the above #3 wallpaper???? $460 for this color combo, less for others in the line. From Lumens.

7. Grasshopper Chair. This is a limited edition re-release of a 1967 chaise that became a design favorite. It's covered in white canvas over a chrome frame, and the cushions are white leather. And yes, I see it in front of the wallpapered wall, with the lamp nearby. I just do. Price available on request, from Suite NY.

8. Barcelona Wall Mount Bench. This is a bent maple wood bench that would look amazing mounted in a wall in an entryway - especially an apartment entry or a narrow hallway. Or in a small kitchen with a table. Or in a dressing area. Or in a bathroom. Or, .... well, you get the point. Limitless possibilities. It is also an eco-friendly piece! $1,975 at Vivavi.

9. Vitsoe Wall System. I love options. And this is THE ultimate in limitless options. The Vitsoe Universal Shelving System is the answer to any shelf need you could possibly have, now or in the future. It's infinitely flexible for your current needs, can be reconfigured if your needs change, and can be taken with you if you move to a new place. Doors, drawers, desktops, etc. Mix and match. Priced by configuration, exclusively through Moss.

10. TV Easel. Oh how I need this! The TV Easel by Alex Bjurstrom is such a great idea that you wonder what the hell took so long! The design mimics the traditional painter's easel in form and function - it is adjustable in both height and angle. It also will display TVs up to 47". It's a great solution for renters who can't burrow into the walls to bury wires, or for those that don't like clunky furniture to put your TV upon. Through the designer's site only as of now.

I love the color gray.

Or grey.

Whichever you prefer. It's modern, It's classic; It's contemporary, It's traditional.

It's the ultimate neutral.

Beige or tan (or taupe or bone or cream or khaki) is far too boring and outdated to be the neutral that ties your interior decor together. Those shades are bland and non-descript; they say "I'm safe, because everything goes with me". Not gray...it says "I'm the color of chic, and not only do I go with everything, but I make everything around me look better!"

Gray makes the loudest noise in small doses. Accessories in gray can infuse some serious attitude and a design kick-in-the-ass. So, to inaugurate my "11 Things" series, I'd like to share eleven things that I think you should know about and where to get them (some of my favorite sources, by the way!) - all in shades of gray.

1. Bangkok Gourd Vase by Blissliving, available at Bobby Berk Home.
2. Jonathan Adler's Tangiers Pillow from his namesake store.
3. Simple Votive Holders, but a little more striking in a deep gray glass, from Brocade Home.
4. The best thing you can do for your floors is FLOR, and this new pattern, The Best Of Both Wools, at their site.
5. Kartell's Papyrus Chairs are their latest seating masterpieces, and can be found at Hive Modern.
6. From my favorite modern light shop is the Stamen Modern Pendant - all hand blown - at Niche Modern.
7. Wallpaper isn't for everyone....but if you want to go there, Flavor Paper's Vapor is a fresh take, at Walnut Wallpaper.
8. Sometimes, simple says everything, and this Simple Felt Basket at DWR is perfect for that catch-all we all need.
9. These Terrazzo Urn Lamps are great to tie classic and modern elements in a room together, at PIeces.
10. It's a stool, a table, a nightstand, a stepladder...whatever you want! Gus' Steel Cube at Mod Decor.
11. Natural Curiosities VIntage Poster let's you segregate at home, from Tonic Home.

Please welcome our latest columnist to The Rural Modernist fold, Joe Armenia from Campagna Home. He will be weighing in on his latest design obsessions, tips, and finds on a regular basis and I couldn't be happier since it means less work for me.

If there is one thing I hate in home design, it's people who are afraid to paint.

Let it be sung from the mountaintops: basic flat contractor-grade white paint (whether in a brand new home or in a fresh rental) is absolutely unacceptable. Yes, white is a color - in fact, it is ALL colors - that is smart for home design; however, the right white will make or break everything else in the room. When you move somewhere new, chances are good you will get that basic chalky white that scuffs easily and has absolutely no sheen and no temperature. If you must have a white-walled space, paint that drab wall with a good, bright white, as fast as you can.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are those who know that there are literally thousands of whites. And that can be overwhelming. But it needn't be. Here is the absolute easiest guide to finding your perfect white. Remember these 4 hues - they are all you will need to know (all colors are by the granddaddy of paint, Benjamin Moore):

1. Super White: This is a bright, clean white. This white is most reactive to the light in the room and will take on the tint of the furnishings in the room. It instantly adapts it's temperature based on it's environment. Think of an art gallery.
2. Dove White: This white has an ever-so-slight hint of gray. It's just enough to temper the brightness, and works really well in spaces that get a lot of light, where Super White could be almost blinding.
3. Navajo White: This is a classic off-white. If you want a white room, but feel it is too stark for your surroundings and furnishings, this casts a decidedly warm glow. Suggestion: this looks amazing with Super White as your trim.
4. White Diamond: My current favorite! This is a very cool white, with the teensiest whisper of blue to it. This looks great with dark wood tones and metals, as well as almost anything you can buy at Design Within Reach or West Elm.

The right white is like having a cell phone or email......when you have it, you wonder how you lived without it. Trust.

And now you know!

Please welcome our latest columnist to The Rural Modernist fold,Joe Armenia from Campagna Home. He will be weighing in on his latest design obsessions, tips, and finds on a regular basis and I couldn't be happier since it means less work for me.

Please welcome our latest columnist to The Rural Modernist fold, Joe Armenia from Campagna Home. He will be weighing in on his latest design obsessions, tips, and finds on a regular basis and I couldn't be happier since it means less work for me.

We are obsessed with juxtaposition. Not only is is great for fashion (crappy old jeans, a plain white tee shirt and Gucci python loafers, for example), but it is a GENIUS design technique for your home.

As you have seen in countless photo layouts, the merging of old and new (read: quaint traditional meets hyper modern) in interior design is haute haute haute. Nowhere is this design trend more prevalent than in the homes of urban refugees, who seek a better lifestyle and more space outside of the city, but who decidedly do NOT want to lose their edge. Modern classics like a Saarinen table or Bertoia barstools are what the chic folk like in the country. Juxtaposition....a woodsy, rural setting and a sleek piece of furniture/art. Somehow it works.

Taking that a step further, we love to take expected and traditional pieces and flip the script. We've been lacquering very ornate Baroque and Rococo frames in super bright colors like turquoise and fuchsia. We recently took an antique 19th century French farm table and replaced the entire surface with a slab of gleaming red lucite. But this can be done in much more accessible, everyday ways for the average Joe.

The genius and twisted minds behind Subversive Cross Stitch feel the same way. We have all seen framed cross-stitch designs on the walls and embroidery hoops of our grandmothers and spinster aunts. They are sweet and comforting, "Home Is Where The Heart Is" type of fare....but now, there is a whole fresh take on them....just look at some of these special designs:

Can't you just see these in glossy, brightly painted frames on a stark white wall...in a grouping? Positioned creatively, the tongue-in-chic of it all will be a major design plus, and the small scale of them will keep your overall design minimal and clean. It is super cheap (just a few bucks for the whole kit....then a few more for a cheap frame and some spray paint!), really powerful, and a ton of fun. And that's what design should be.