Let's face it. Keeping track of all of the inspirational jpegs that are floating around on your hard drive and on the internets is a pain in the ass. Thank Jebus I now have Pinterest to help me catalog and share all of the images that get me all tingly down there. Head over to the Rural Modernist Furniture Porn page to get more information on the objects above that I've been lusting over, as well as a whole slew of personally curated eye candy that's sure to titillate your design bone and get your creative juices flowing. Now I need a cold shower.

There are so many times when I see furniture and home decor items that move me. And when they are sleek, stylish and really make an artistic statement by their mere presence, the first word that springs to mind for me is "sexy". Like a Tom Ford perfume ad, or the shape of a Gaultier corset. No matter what the context is, it's just plain sexy.

I have just discovered this line of furniture by Peter Rolfe (yeah, those Germans are pigs!) that takes "sexy" to a whole new level. When I first saw the photos, I thought instantly of that episode of Nip/Tuck where one of the doctors is caught having sex with his couch.

I am sure someone will have that same idea with this line. These carved and layered wooden pieces represent male and female ideal body forms and are made incredibly well. As a designer, I don't know who in the hell I would suggest these pieces for, but you can be damn sure I will at some point!

I only have a couple of issues with these pieces. First, the nipples on the female dressers should actually be functional. I would love nothing more than to pull on a nip and have my underwear drawer at my disposal. "Hey honey....can you get me some socks? They are in the left tit!" Secondly, the male pieces are NOT correct, and that truly bothers me. I'd like to have a place to hang my fine gold chains, maybe a hat stand, a ring holder, etc. Likewise, the female, if done correctly, could provide a secret storage space for fine jewels, etc.

Anatomically correct or not, they are incredibly beautiful. I'm just saying a dick wouldn't hurt.

PS: is it me, or did Rolfe model the lady parts on Madonna, circa 1979? I'd recognize those appendages anywhere.

As a barn sale/flea market/junk shop kind of cheapskate, I can't imagine actually being able to afford anything on 1st Dibs, but I do love perusing the high end, to-the-trade wares for inspiration and a good dose of daily eye candy/furniture porn. Some of my faves today:

Hi. I'm The Rural Modernist and I'm a globe-aholic. I also have a fetish for old signage, so this one really gets me all tingly down there.

Metal Globe
France
1950's
A large advertising handpainted metal globe wrapped in metal film.
Price
$6,500 (HOLY CRAP!)

Yeah, we've seen this chair a gazillion times already, but I don't care. That caramel leather is just so supple and inviting I want to pet it.

1960s "Egg" Armchair by Arne Jacobsen
Denmark
1960s
1960s "Egg" armchair by Arne Jacobsen, with metal base and leather upholstery.
Price
$13,894 (GULP.)

I loathe faux finishes, but I love faux bois.

Faux bois table and chair set
France
Circa 1900
Table and three stool set in ferro cement faux bois. An extraordinarily lifelike recreation of natural wood rendered by hand in cement.
Price
$6,375 (YIKES.)

I like ceramics that look like organ meats. I'm going to try knocking this off in my next pottery class.

Ceramic Sculptural Vessel
American
20Th Century
Ceramic Vessel Sculpture
Price
$4,800 (COUGH COUGH.)

Bingo! This graphic coffee table is practically free by 1st Dibs standards.

1965 Coffee Table by R. Capron
France
1965
1965 coffee table by R. Capron with structure in metal and ceramic tiles on top surface.
Price
$1,755 (SCHWING!)